(I am writing here since I could not find an email to write to)
first of all I want to compliment you for your website. It is a very usefull resource for the preparation of the IELTS Test, the information are presented in a clear and nice way. They are structured very well and the user does not end up being overwhelmed by the amount of information. This is a very important point -at least to me-, because reading your site had the result of calming me me and improve my self confidence for the exam. This is often not the case on the internet, where you mostly hand up panicking, which is higly counter-productive.
Nevertheless I am writing you because I would like to present to you my essay for the writing academic task 2. I would really like to have a feedback from you, because unfortunately I can’t find no one to correct me one and I would like to have an opinion before I take the exam (which is in 7 days: unfortunately I have found your website late 🙁 ). I am not asking you to correct every mistake, just to read it once and give me your impression and maybe the main points that I have to be careful about in the test (the first being word number: by rewriting to the computer I have just seen a lot of mistakes that I could have corrected if I had the time, thing which I haven’t). If it possible can you say to me around band score I am? Or, is this essay enough good for a minimum band score of 5.5?
I am really looking forward to read an answer from you and I thank you in advance for your courtesy.
Writing task 2
Write about the following topic:
In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour.
What do you think ar the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
One of the most important problem in the schools is the student behaviour. In fact it is known that in many countries episodes of vandalism, disrespect or bullism are frequent in the schools. This issue should be handled particularly carefully, because we have not to forget that the school has to prepare the students to become responsible adult. It is therefore very important to individuate the causes and the possible solutions to be applied, in order for the school to fullfill its educational role in the best way.
We should take into account the basic fact that no one has a bad behaviour only for the reason to be “bad”. Often those behaviours are the expressions of other, hidden problems. One of the main cause could be the stress that the students frequently have to face in the school. Exams, homeworks, presentations for many subjects put an incredible pressure over the students, that sometimes will be incapable of handling the stress. Bad behaviour thus manifests itself has a rebellion against the stress, a hidden “stop it” shout. Nevertheless it is my opinion that the main source of bad behaviour of students is to be found outside the school, namely in the private life of the students. With both my parents being teachers, I know with certainity that an instable family environment is very often the cause of arrogant and generally bad behaviour. Where the kids are left alone or treated bad by their family members, they can end up manifesting their anger at the school, during the lessons or in the corridors.
Those problems suggest their solutions. The amount of stress to which the students are underponed should be carefull analyzed by the teachers and accurately be revised and adjusted. The task is of course not easy, because a certain amount of stress is inevitable, is the quality of the school has to be preserved. Regarding family problems, it is my firm convinction that child that were raised (or still are) in instable family environment should be followed carefully by expers, such as psyhcologists and pedagogists, and sustained by teachers, in order to allow them to retrieve their happiness and bring their life back on the tracks.
Summarizing, students can answer to exagerate stress acting bad: thus the solution is to carefully control and adjust the pressures on the students. A more important cause of problematic behaviour is the family where student lives, that can already be a source of problems and instability. Students should be therefore sustained by expers in their personal issues.
(you can answer me via email if you want)
IELTS Writing Task 2 Question
Try this opinion essay question about the cost of space exploration. It’s best to state a clear opinion for or against in your introduction.
Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.
What is your opinion?
IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
There is an argument that exploring space is a waste of money and that there are more urgent needs to be addressed on earth, such as reducing poverty and preventing environmental destruction. However, I completely disagree with this opinion for two reasons.
First of all, many of the technologies we take for granted today were originated thanks to space research. Take satellite technology, for example, which we depend on for broadcasting and weather forecasting. Without satellites, we would not be able to follow global events as they happen, nor give populations any warning of approaching storms. Space research has also led to the development of new lightweight materials that offer us heat protection and enable food preservation. Therefore, the challenge of sending human beings into space has often driven the development of new technologies that benefit our everyday lives.
Second, we cannot foresee the distant future, so we ought to develop the capability to escape from the earth. Gradually, we are learning how humans can survive for long periods in space and even travel to other planets in the future. If space exploration is halted, this valuable knowledge will never be acquired. It is true that environmental destruction is also a serious issue, but it is also true that we remain dependent on our environment if we never accept the challenge of exploring other worlds.
In conclusion, while we undoubtedly face serious problems on our own planet, it is imperative that we continue to explore space. This will promote further technological advances as well as provide a possible means of escape should earth become uninhabitable in future. Ideally, all nations should cooperate in the advancement of space research.
(278 words, IELTS 8.5)
Why does this Task 2 answer get an IELTS Band 8 score?
Task response: The introduction effectively paraphrases the question and presents a clear opinion. The writer’s opinion is supported in the body of the essay. Concrete examples are given. The conclusion restates the writer’s opinion and ends with a recommendation.
Coherence and cohesion: The model answer is divided into clear paragraphs and each body paragraph contains one main idea. There are cohesive links between all paragraphs and between most sentences.
Lexical resource: The key concept of space exploration is paraphrased several times. There are many words characteristic of academic writing such as originated, imperative, and foresee. Vocabulary is used with a strong awareness of collocation: take for granted, develop the capability, accept the challenge.
Grammatical range and accuracy: The model answer is free from grammatical errors. A good balance of simple and complex sentences is used to develop an argument. Verb tenses vary, and other grammatical devices such as conditionals and modals are used with high accuracy.
This IELTS Writing task simply asks you to give your opinion, which appears to be a very open question. As you have just 40 minutes to write your opinion essay, it is best to state a clear opinion in the first paragraph and stick to it, rather than try to deliver a more complex or nuanced answer. Use each body paragraph to add supporting points and restate your opinion in the final paragraph to provide a satisfying conclusion.
Would you like me to check your IELTS writing answers and give you expert feedback based on the official scoring criteria? My online IELTS Writing Practice Test will show you how to improve by a whole band score in just two days. Read more.